Tag: meme

PROMPT LIST

ahswitchy:

// send a number + any character from ahs through my inbox and I’ll write an oneshot 

—

1.     
“You are full of shit.”

2.     
“Thought you’d said you’d love me forever.”

3.     
“Sometimes I really don’t like you.”

4.     
“Will you marry me?”

5.     
“Get on your knees. Now.”

6.     
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”

7.     
“You make me very, very, very, very sad.”

8.     
“I don’t know. I just…I just see something in
you that I can’t explain.”

9.     
“And where do you think you are going?”

10.  
“Let’s pretend none of this ever happened.”

11.  
“I have no one to turn to! You know why!?
Because I push them all away!”

12.  
“I’m waiting, honey. Waiting right here for
you…”

13.  
“If I had two hearts, I’d fall for you twice.”

14.  
“I like it when you sleep, for you are so
beautiful yet so unaware of it.”

15.  
“You don’t know how lovely you are.”

16.  
“You combine a mean angel and a kind devil.”

17.  
“I wish you could see yourself with my eyes.”

18.  
“I think I am in love with you, and that scares
the shit out of me.”

19.  
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

20.  
“Did you just call me daddy?”

21.  
“You are in big trouble.”

22.  
 “death
is the only god that comes when you call.”

23.  
“I will
not be another flower, picked for my beauty and left to die. I will be wild,
difficult to find and impossible to forget.”

24.  
“Don’t ever leave my sight again.”

25.  
“You drink too much, you cuss too much and you
have questionable morals. you’re everything I ever wanted.”

26.  
“I do bad things, and I do them very well.”

27.  
“When was the last time you slept?”

28.  
“Oh, you want to fight me? That’s cute.”

29.  
“What’s a pretty thing like you doing out here
by yourself?”

30.  
“Are you ashamed of me?”

31.  
“You’re the one with a blade at my throat, so
obviously you’re upset.”

32.  
“It’s kinda hard to concentrate when you can
slice open my stomach at any second.”

33.  
“Look at me. It’s not real. There isn’t anything
there.”

34.  
“Here, squeeze my hand. You can hold onto me.
I’m real, I’m not going anywhere.”

35.  
“Take a deep breath in, that’s it, now let it
out. Come on, you can do it again. Just breathe.”

36.  
“What did you do to yourself? Let me see your arm…Please?”

37.  
“You can hate me, you can dislike me but
how can you cheat on me?”

38.  
“Now, is there really a need for all that
screaming?”

39.  
“You can’t get away from me, you’ll never get
away from me!”

40.  
“I love you, how else was I going to keep you?
No one else can have you!”

41.  
“You really are as twisted as I am. Aren’t we a
perfect match?”

42.  
“I’ve been watching you for a long time…you’ve
made me wait. But, it was worth it.”

43.  
“ i envy the winds who still witness you. ”

44.  
“ i’m about to get up and walk right out the
door. ”

45.  
“You do look pretty when you cry, that’s why I
like hurting you.”

46.  
“ why are you so unkind to me? ”

47.  
“I never got to be the big spoon in bed before I
had you. This is such a weird new perspective I have gained in life.”

48.  
“Give me a minute to process the fact that I
just witnessed you murdering someone.”

49.  
“I wish I never met you!”

50.  
“I love the things you hate about yourself.

—

try specifying the scenario you want, it would make my job a lot easier. Stay safe, angels ^^

christmas / holiday starters

splattermemes:

Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !

at a party

  • “Woah, someone drank too much egg nog.”
  • “Look, I only came for the Christmas cookies.”
  • “So do I make a sexy Santa/elf/reindeer or what?”
  • “Merry Christmas! Let’s get wasted.”
  • “Is my outfit too festive/not festive enough?”
  • “Hey! Come on in, I’ll get you a drink.”

a grinch

  • “I can’t believe I’m all alone during the holidays.”
  • “Most wonderful time of the year, my ass.”
  • “I hate snow. And smiling children.”
  • “If I hear one more Christmas song, someone is getting strangled with tinsel.”
  • “The only thing good about Christmas is the candy canes.”
  • “Wow, that gingerbread house is…unique.”
  • “Egg nog is disgusting.”

anti-grinch

  • “I’ve had my tree up since November.”
  • “How could you not like the holidays?!”
  • “I’m going to shove a candy cane up my ass. I’m so excited!”
  • “Christmas is the only time of year when I’m stressed out AND receiving a bunch of gifts.”
  • “There’s NO way I’m going to lose the house decorating competition.”
  • “Christmas isn’t a holiday. It’s a way of life.”

presents

  • “What did you get me?” / “I’m not telling you! It’s a surprise.”
  • “I didn’t know what to buy you, so..I made you something…”
  • “You gave me the present that I gave to YOU last year?”
  • “It’s perfect…”
  • “Aw, you didn’t have to get me anything.”
  • “The only gift I want is stability and happiness. But this wrapping paper is pretty.”
  • “You just rip the paper right off?! You heathen.” / “You save the paper? Nerd.”

secret santa

  • “Ugh, I can’t believe I got ___ for secret santa.”
  • “I got ____!! What should I give him/her/them?”
  • “Who bought me socks? They’re plain white no-brand socks.”
  • “The limit was $20, people. Why do I see an iPhone?”
  • “I know who got me this. There’s only one person who knows me this well. It’s you.”

with friends

  • “I got us matching ugly sweaters.”
  • “Do you think I can fit these candy canes up my nose?”
  • “Merry Christmas, fuckers. I’m broke but at least I got you stuff.”
  • “This is really corny…but you’re already a gift to me.”
  • “I haven’t seen you in so long! Get over here and give me a hug.”

flirty

  • “Are you Santa? Because I’d sit on your lap.”
  • “Have I been naughty this year?”
  • “Oh, I’d ride in your sleigh.”
  • “Your eyes twinkle like tree lights.”
  • “All I want for Christmas is you.”

snow

  • “It’s snowing! That’s so perfect!”
  • “Great, now my flight is delayed…”
  • “How am I supposed to get home in this weather?”
  • “Baby, it’s cold outside…”
  • “Let’s have a snowball fight.”

no snow

  • “Why can’t we have a white Christmas?”
  • “It’s too hot for hot cocoa.”
  • “I wish I could wear a sweater without dying.”
  • “It’s nice to get away from all the cold.”
  • “The only ice I want to see is in a cold drink.”

knows nothing about other holidays

  • “So is it Jesus’s birthday?”
  • “Where did Santa even come from?”
  • “…Isn’t the tree a pagan tradition?”
  • “How do the deer fly?”
  • “This holiday sounds like it was made by someone on crack.”
  • “What’s a Hannukah?” / “What’s a Kwanzaa?”
  • “Is what I’m wearing okay?”
  • “Stop calling me a grinch! I’m not even Christian.”

hannukah

  • “Watch me shove all these latkes in my mouth.”
  • “You don’t know how to play with a dreidel?” / “Let me teach you the dreidel game.”
  • “See the menorah? It’s LIT.”
  • “Try the sufganiyot and you will forget about Christmas cookies.”
  • “Hannukah is the time of year when us Jews gather and decide the next step in taking over the world. At least that’s what that crazy guy from work told me.”
  • “Do these dreidel cake pops look Pinterest-y enough?”
  • “Christians get WAY too upset over Starbucks cups. I’ve never gotten a Hannukah Starbucks cup! You don’t see me rioting about it.”
  • “That’s not a dreidel…That’s a beyblade.”

kwanzaa

  • “Who needs one day of Christmas when I have a whole week of Kwanzaa?”
  • “See the kinara? It’s LIT.”
  • “I can’t go home until I buy a new kinara.”
  • “What do you think of the decorations? I think I need more African print.”
  • “How are we out of food? Kwanzaa is about the harvest!”
  • “I like Kwanzaa. It’s a holiday of principles.”
  • “It’s not a ‘made-up’ holiday. All holidays are made up.”
  • “Kinda wish the unity cup was filled with whiskey. And that I could drink all of it.”

misc.

  • “No matter the holiday, family time is always a bad idea.”
  • “This isn’t Pinterest-y enough!”
  • “Come on, let’s take a quick selfie. We never see each other.”
  • “You know I’m Muslim/Hindu/Buddhist/atheist/other, right?”

* soft angst starters

vhsmeme:

  • ‘ stay with me tonight? ’

  • ‘ don’t talk. save your strength. ’

  • ‘ hey, i’ve got you. it’s okay. ’

  • ‘ i’ll be right here. don’t worry. ’

  • ‘ i think we’re done. ’

  • ‘ hold my hand. ’

  • ‘ it’s all been a lie, hasn’t it? ’

  • ‘ we’re out of time. ’
  • ‘ you’ll always be a friend. ’
  • ‘ just hold me. ’
  • ‘ i have to leave you behind. i’m sorry. ’
  • ‘ don’t do that. it’ll only hurt. ’
  • ‘ go on, cry. ’
  • ‘ keep your eyes open. ’

  • ‘ can i hug you? ’

  • ‘ i trusted you. ’

  • ‘ do you remember? ’
  • ‘ i loved you. ’ 

ofmanymusings:

Sentence starters based on a loopy boi’s words after a kidney stone surgery.

“This world is cold.”

“DO IT!! DO IT YOU WON’T!!!”

“I NEED KETCHUP AND MUSTARD!!!”

“I wasn’t thinking about it…”

“I probably need a plate too.”

“I just want my ketchup…”

“You’re an half hour ago.”

starts singing I Write Sins Nor Tragedies

“I guess my door is just open for the rest of eternity.”

“I asked for a plate too…”

“I’m funny.”

“Cause —’s too much of a hoe to close it.”

“You know, the soap demons tried murdering me again last night.”

“It’s just a typical Thursday night getting murdered by soap demons.”

“I feel like I used the mustard so little that it was like, you know what? I’m just never gonna let — use me again, because they don’t like me anyways.”

“— is like mustard because nobody likes it alone.”

“– is just a rotten thing of ketchup. — IS ketchup.”

“This ketchup is disgusting.”

“I thought the bag said kids meat not kids meal, so I said oh okay. Guess I’m eating children for lunch today.”

“Let’s just disappear like —’s will to live did.”

“You know… I have no idea what I was gonna say.”

“In movies they say “Who will save us now?” But they don’t think to turn to barbecue sauce! Barbecue sauce is the real hero.“

"mUsTaRd”

“I’m just waiting for someone to use growth hormones in milk and for someone to say Jimmy! We trusted you! How could you use artificial growth hormones?? YOU TRAITOR!”

“It’s smooth, creamy, and delicious.”

“It’s local. It’s fresh. It’s cows. That just sounds like they put cows in a blender and blended it up and said here. It’s chocolate milk.”

“It’s definitely chocky milk, not cows.”

“You thiefin traitor. You dare try to take my barbecue sauce?”

“They left. My door open.”

“How… DARE! Fuh!”

“I kinda wanna just start barking at them the next time they walk in my bedroom.”